life (for now) on the midshore

You're regression is my depression...

I was finally able to recover all the blog entries-

Me bloggin in the mornin... It probably isn't a good idea to sleep in until 10 and then not shower until quarter of 1...

Oh, I made a rhyme, haha!

...

I thought about becoming a Shaker. When I was younger my family went to the old Cantebury Shaker village. On another occasion I thought about going into some type of ministry. I thought about becoming a monk. However that might be taking an easier route and not having to deal with "life." I'd really be a recluse then.

I'm so awake at night when I should be sleeping lately. Sleeping seems like another waste of time a lot now.

- I'm watching the View right now and I can't help commenting on Rudy Guilani being the guest. Oh lord, he just said "you're either with US or you're not," "US and the Nazis, US and the Communists." Can I believe he said that?! Starr Jones and him were really goin at it. He was being so jingoistic and she was saying that being against the war doesn't make you un-American. I don't know- it's so easy to just get wrapped up in either being for or against the war. He was saying how "everyone gets stirred up with emotion ya-da-ya-da." They showed a clip with him saying how he said that he was glad that Bush was president following 911. Terroism, terroism, terroism. He said how he knew that Al Gore could not have done the job. He brought up the point on how "John Kerry flip-flops on his decisions." Still, seeing what Bush has done- rather what he has not done- a lot of people are probably putting their faith in Kerry to take a "better" direction. It is probably ok to say that no president is going to be the political savior of the ages.

Speaking of jingoism- that was an extreme example of part of the writing prompt from English class last night. Parking wasn't a problem and so I got to USM in about fifteen minuets with a half hour to spare. It turned out that there were more people from SHS then I thought were going to be in the class. It ended up that the class of able twenty was just about half the SHS kids. Sarah, me, Julie, Pierce, Ali, Steph, Kerry and Hellen- Ryan and Chris were missing. The teacher was either in his late twenties but probably early thirties. Julie quickly commented that "he's cute." Arden Hendrie- Prof. Hendrie. We played the name game and then he went over the syllabus. We then did the writing sample which I had been forewarned about: In "Autobiographies and History of Reading," Katherine Tinsey and Carl F. Kaestle report their research on literacy. This research suggest that many books encountered by young people supported their family or ethnic culture; indeed, parents strove to ensure that outcome. Most books introduced in schools supported the mainstream culture and capitalist institutions. The politics of lieracy is precisely the struggle to manage the potential opportunit ies and disruptions presented by reading. Write and essay in which you explain whether, in your experience or knowledge, reading does present "potential opportunities and disruptions." If you do think so, explain what those opportunities and disruptions are and how a person or institution you know well has "struggle[d] to manage" then. If you think that reading does not present opportunities and disruptions, explain why it does not; responding to the quotation above and using an example you know well.

Yeah- not the greatest topic to have to write a spur-of-the-moment essay on. Definitely not one of my better ones, hm. I took the route that in my experience growing up today I have not really encountered a heavliy biased, Big Brother type thing in what I have been assigned to read. Sure there are still biased works but I was never made to have to accept and belief them. Plus, considering history and changing perspectives I think people are less uptight about things concerning race, national identity and culture. I think people seem to be more open-minded as generations keep going and even if those heavily biased views are encountered I think people are more educated and willing to draw their own conclusions. Also, I don't think people are solely going to read something to draw their conclusions etc.

We have homework and we don't meet again until the 13th. I'd actually better go start that, at least go look at it before I decided whether to procrastinate or not, hmm. Working the closing shift tonight...     & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   

Where have all the blog entries gone?

I clicked on the 2004 archives only to find that not all the entries were there. Does tblog have a limit?

I caught a bit of the Olympic closing ceremony- the little girl from China that sang was so cute. Maybe I'll have to be in China in 2008.

Such a ball of emotions -am I opening admitting this? Underneath some stuff I'm nervous, worried, scared, anxious, doubtful, sad and lonely. The last two are so ugly. Maybe not so lonely but sad. Me- still a loser. Blame it on the hormones- always the culprit. Still, I am happy and blessed with so much. I have no right to the negativity.

Well, all systems go for the meantime with the IIIHR program in S. Korea. I e-mailed the coordinator, Hee Jung, and she sent me another application. I sent that back and I got comfirmation that she got that a few minutes ago. Hm, this time next year I'll be getting ready to fly over to Gimhae. Click on the News & Notice section at  http://home.inje.ac.kr/" title="http://home.inje.ac.kr/" target="_blank"http://home.inje.ac.kr/~iiihr/ for pictures. I've recently been in contact with some of the participants from the spring 2004 semester. Lynn, Jessica, Carolyn, Soo Jin and Jeremy all had positive comments about their experience. Meanwhile, I'm going to try my best to learn at least basic Korean before going next fall.

I lucked out and got an extra week of summer break because they are still doing construction on the high school. School starts September 8th but my English class at USM starts tomorrow night. I probably should have considered the 7-9:30 p.m. time a little more before signing up. I have to go get a parking permit from the USM police tomorrow before class. The class only meets once a week but what are we really going to do for two and a half hours?- killer. I probably should have thought about signing up for Latin I as well. Back at the end of the school year it was like, ok I'll sign up for that and hm I'll sign up for that too. This school year seemed a little far off. Here it is, though. Graduation: (I think it's still) June 5th 2005! Still feel like a freshmen... I was the ultimate freshmen... oh geeze. Good old FHS.

Hm, wow, sigh- everyone is preparing to take whatever direction they are going to take after graduation. I still don't think many of them have really gotten on the stick with the process of filling out college applications. I guess I get to skip that for a year. I might get recommendations this year why we're still in Maine. I might would (that probably isn't proper grammar, hm) apply to colleges now for entrance in fall '06 if I knew what state we're moving to. -Speaking of moving- the house is officially up for sale. There has been one showing but it wasn't their style. In the meantime my dad is playing Powerball and/or waiting/looking/searching for etc. a sign from God. Blah, still don't know if we're gunna be in Maine for this whole school year. He's planning on going down to the mid-atlantic (again) to interview in with firms in Philadelphia and Richmond- I don't know of any others currently on the table. We'll see what happens... Damn architecture- and two of my friends are thinking about going into it. My dad says, "well, there's nothing wrong with the profession." It's just the assholes in the profession but that exists to some degree with pretty much everything these days.

I've been interested in photography lately. I should drop all my classes and take as many photo classes this year. That would be great to be able to travel as a photographer. Another one of my random ideas. Saving the world one photo at a time...

I am pretty excited about the program in Korea. I think it will be a great experience to be around other Korean adoptees. I was told by one of the participants that depending on how well you know English you'll teach more classes to the students thru Inje University where the adoptees are housed. As a native English speaker I think I may have to teach seven classes a week. However, I was told that the classes are more laid back and that classes were often taken to the local bars. Hm, seems like drinking isn't such a "big deal" in Korea- or internationally for that matter. I'll have to be careful before throwin back the Korean booze. Wait- me drinking?!? Ha. I'll be 18- they'll never know... Nawh- that isn't me.

Me & my young life... Me the dreamer. College...oy. Ah, that's another story for another time. I think I'm finally understanding what my aunt really meant by "having to have been there done that" before you can talk. Easier said than done? I really shouldn't go into things with any preconceived notions about anything. There probably was a lot more truth in what she told me then I was willing to admit to at that point. I guess I am a stickler for looking back and reflecting on things. I think I've done a pretty decent job at supressing some memories more then other. Just recently I thought about when my brother was "house sitting" for an adult from our old church. It seems so far off but evidently Geoffrey didn't do anything about people coming over, there was drinking and I think some stuff got broken or stolen. The guy was really disappointed in Geoffrey because he had kind of taken him under his wing a bit. I remember that my parents had wished that he would have called. All of that happened pretty close to the time that we moved. I also remember finding out about the death of Jenna Stephen's dad. This was second semester of freshmen year for me and Jenna was a junior. He had been very ill with MS for a pretty long time. They sent out a note about his death to the track team and I got it in fourth block Spanish. I remember reading it and then I starting crying pretty hysterically. I think me feeling so horrible for Jenna and a lot of bottled up weird emotions from that year did it. I walked to the bathroom crying, not a good thing. I went to the memorium for her dad and ahh it was so sad. I saw Jenna and started crying. We hugged and we both cried. It was too much to take reading the letters that she and her siblings wrote to their dad. Those type of things make me question why certain things happen to some people and not others. Jenna is such a good, good, good person and it just really got to me at the core. I wish I would have been stronger and I'd like to have told her that. I met Jenna thru XC in the fall and she was so welcoming. Then when my injury went down during indoor track she was so good to me. She is my angel.

Onto other subjects...

Family: Considering the squabbling between my family- relatives- it makes me wonder if families can't get along then how can anyone? I definitely va lue family (hm, just another trait of a Cancer) and all the "she said" stuff that puts me in the middle of my mom and my aunt drives me crazy, annoys and upsets me. I really don't think the situation will every change. They are both stubborn and jealous women but I think both have big hearts. My aunts drives herself crazy. My mom- who knows? For all I have said in the past, my mom is just trying her best and I should just appreciate that. God doesn't supply a parenting manual. Ha. My dad- I've written about him a lot. He is getting older these days. My parents would be happier if they were divorced but still my dad will do his best to hang on and put up with crap. I guess I won't rehash old commentary on this subject.

This'll be quite the year... fast year. In my gut I don't want the past and all the people to spread out and apart. In a sense I feel like I'll get lost in the sea of life etc. Sure I'll keep in contact with some friends that I've grown up with, my immediate family and relatives of course but I suppose it really is just me. Being ok with being alone- with me as my only company. Reality of me being "responsible for my actions" and taking care of my own shit. So much more...

Ha- the one thing I know for sure: I'll still keep writing thruout it all though. I don't know- I've been getting lazier and lazier with not handwriting entires anymore. I've grown pretty used to just typing entires on the blog.

I may go see what all the hype is about with the movie Garden State sometimes this week. First time I'll be exercising my "seventeen powers" at the movies, haha.

I thought I was going to make a conserted effort to not go to bed late late but here it is 12:15. I'd better head up so I'm not asleep until 10 in the morning. The 6 a.m wake-ups are going to suck- maybe that's the worst thing about school. I didn't think this entry was going to be so long...     & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ; 

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You'll say

In continuation... My dad and I went to OOB again tonight and yet again there were two people giving out "heaven bound" material. This nice older lady had a shirt on that said, "Christ is the light of the world." She asked me if I wanted a copy of what she was handing out but I said no- my dad and I had already been poked at with the "literature." I continued to walk as she said ok and god bless...

~ Onto subjects that aren't as touchy as religion...

Music~ Where to start with this one? Music is probably one of the few things that makes complete sense to me, ha. Who doesn't need or love music? It is amazing how music can bring about so many different emotions etc. I guess music really is the universal language. It is a great thing that, for example, the awesome slide guitar blues of Elmore James can find me- a seventeen year old Asian girl- decades later. It is also great how some music becomes "legendary" and endures thru the years. Miles Davis- Kind of Blue- beautiful. I think everyone can appreciate that record and jazz in general. Gotta appreciate jazz. I find myself exploring older music a lot more considering that most music these days is crap. Music really was better during my parents time, haha. Whatever your musical taste it's important to try and appreciate all kinds of music. I've definitely learned to "tolerate" rap and a lot of the horrible punk stuff out right now. I think a lot of acts out today are just looking for hits right now. Music should still be about making quality music that will "stan d the test of time" and not about hitting #1 the first week out or having hit songs.

In addition to the above two musicians- Some recommendations from my CD case:

The Beatles (White Album)- The Beatlemania continues! Some people may say that they are overrated but their music really does go beyond the "Beatles 1" and is just fun.

[Early] Fleetwood Mac; Then Play On- I still like Peter Green's white boy version of blues- so shoot me for it. Go ahead and get Fleetwood Mac: Fleetwood Mac and maybe Rumors if you have the impluse. They really should have changed the name when Nicks and Buckingham came along.

India.Arie; Acoustic Soul- Some solid music from the R&B spectrum. I began to like this more and more after listening to it a few times. Voyage to India for a little more up-tempo.

Coldplay; Parachutes- Yeah, yeah- get sucked into their British rock. Rush... if you don't mind more noise. (Decent, decent rock considering the crap from bands like Good Charlotte etc. these days, shrugs --From that type of music I think the Red Hot Chili Peppers are a lot better, but still not really my area).

John Mayer; Inside Wants Out- His 1999 independent release. Give him a chance- so much more then "Your Body is a Wonderland!" Acousti c Mayer- I like this album a little more then Room for Squares because the music and his expression are more emotional. Definitely check out the first two before Heavier Things, which seems a bit too polished at only ten songs but still a change from the first two. 

~I'll end the list for now since I think I'll go to bed. Good night.     

You'll say

You'll say finally she's not blabing about herself etc.- and maybe it's just an attempt to avoid reading more European history...

Random thoughts about:

Religion~ In a not-so recent entry I wrote that I'd elaborate on "why I broke from Christianity." I was brought up regularly going to a Methodist church and going to sunday school until about the time high school rolled around. Thinking back I can remember my first real exposure to the idea of sin. It was during a sunday school class and the teacher held up this light blue piece of paper with a white heart. She then showed us the same paper but with a black heart. The teacher proceeded to explain how sin makes a clean heart into the black heart etc. I must have been in first or second grade.

Going to church seemed like just another thing we used to do thru out the week. I used to look forward to going for donuts or these awesome bagels afterwards. I'm not sure when I really started to "question religlion" - more importantly- moralit y, even my own morality, and spirituality.

I grew up going thru the "highlights" in the cycle of the Christian church. Christmas... then before you knew it came Holy Week and then Easter with the lesser knows like Pentecost etc. thrown in. I'd heard the story of Genesis, Noah, The temptation of Christ, Jesus turning water into wine, the sermon on the Mount, the cruxifiction, etc. I underwent confirmation during eighth grade and at that time I had no real objections to joining the church. I had a sponsor, went on the field trips, went to classes, wrote my creed. I was then confirmed infront of the church and had to start pledging my dues.

The summer before freshmen year I thought that my faith in Christ and focusing on obeying the Ten Commandments before I acted and repenting were enough. Maybe it was sometime during that year that I felt that Christianity was not for me. I could not accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior. More over I could not accept dogma and I began to feel that religion closes doors between people. Sure, all in all, perhaps religion does more "good" for people verses the conflict, war and hatred people have used it for.

After moving to Maine we did find a church and started attending. I still went and felt a bit hypocritical. I think my mom went for the Pastor but now that he left we haven't been going as much and I've been working sundays the past month or so. Going to church was more of a security of something that we'd always done. The whole thing felt so normal.

I dabbled in attempting to pin-point my beliefs and skirted around UU or secular for a time. I became interested in Taoism and many of its highlights coincide with my current beliefs. Still, I don't really call myself or think of myself as a Taoist because I don't really want to be labeled as anything- I just want to be Sheena.

In general religion is a source of hope for people but what do we need hope for? What do we need salvation for or from? It's about looking within. Living for that "something more." Not wasting energy on things that are superficial and that do not matter. 

Going to church it seemed like people were mice on a wheel. You go to church to be "cleansed," do the same bullshit during the week and then go back to church- the cycle keeps going. 

My dad and I went out to eat dinner one night and religion came up. I asked for him to tell me about his beliefs. He told me that living this life on earth is hell. We are meant to suffer before and until we can be reborn into someone on the level of Christ. I won't rehash the whole thing. Another night him and I went down to OOB and we were talking about how at least on the surface no one really seems to care. No one really shows their true self. From time to time I can be a bit cynical and thinking about how people act in general can get be down.

I truly value trying my best to keep an open mind- however at times, or maybe too often perhaps I have been to critical and not so open-minded. Going back to being in-line with Taoism- not wallowing about self-created problems and living authenticly. In the past I have been a stickler for wanting or trying to come to definite answers and religion was not excluded. I remember thinking that maybe I should just stop looking or trying to make conclusions. I know that I only do not know. I will never have answers but I can not stop believing or feeling that we are all meant to live for "that something more"- whatever you want to identify that as.

Religions are not really all that different. All in all you are supposed to be as best of a person as you can be. Going back to Christianity- I think that Christ is love and everyone strives to be love- something that is pure, true, authentic, and so if you want to believe in that go for it. I think it is important to consider your spirituality on a higher level, maybe just a basic level for some. It is important to have some belief. I think it is simply just a bit too close-minded to not believe in something more.

I have often considered myself such a contridtion. Back in-line with Taoism- there will always be "good and bad" and so in a sense neither really exist. What really does exist? Maybe sometimes it is hard to distingiush between what is real. Everyone creates their own existance. It's about going forth to a higher level- not personal hell.

Back to Christianity once more... it seems like many Christians are quick to boot that their religion is the only truth- perhaps that is a part of "organized religion." I could not be apart of such a belief. It also seems that Christians are the few who are going around trying to stuff their beliefs down people's throats- evangelize, evangelize! Also going back to that entry about Debbie the Jehovahs Witness who knocked on my door at 10 one morning- but even for those Christians I'm willing the think that they are preaching for the world to accept Jesus from a "good intent" etc.

~ I'll stop here for now. Probably write later tonight or tomorrow depending on movie night or not...     & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp; 

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Color quiz

Spacefem.com quiz from Dianna's LJ- originally from Susan's.

My results:

Season 10

It's been awhile since I've made an entry. Here goes the last week or so of summer break re-cap...

Back at the coffee shop after the mid-atlantic trip. My cousin got married into the Gwen Stefani family- haha- here's the connection: her husband is Gwen Stefani's second cousin. The wedding was very nice and I got to know the UVA area. My brother couldn't wait to get back to Salisbury but he's back in his element. Doin his own thing- his away message says that he's out partying right now, hm. I was at my aunt's house in PA- Berks Co.- for a work week. We pretty much went shopping the whole time. I went to the three major malls in the area, Park City, King of Prussia and Berkshire. I saw everyone on my dad's side and my cousins second daughter is such a pretty baby- just turned one. Being down there surronded by "the maternal instinct" I thought- wow, how could I ever do this? My aunt is still and will continue to be so unhappy with her marital situation. She got a new car, a nice house for a crap marriage- very similar scenerio to that of my Grandmother's- the martyr. My aunt is such a ball of nerves. Looking thru her old photo albums I realized how much she's made an effort to be a part of my life and that shows what a big heart she has and how I'll always be greatful for her. Ha, my other cousin has such an idealist view of marriage. She always brings a bit of California back east. She is a geniunely caring person but she's waiting for this guy who she thinks is "perfectly the one for her" but to top that he's going thru a divorce right now, oy. I was in the back seat listening to the conversation between her and my aunt just rolling my eyes. Onto other things...

I had the early shift at work today and then I close tomorrow night. Went to the John Mayer concert in Mansfield, MA with my dad on friday night. Bringing it full circle back to work- Brandon came back and he actually looks a bit like John Mayer. Maroon 5 opened- not a big fan of them- but "Harder to Breathe" and "Shiver" are pretty good. "Sunday Morning" is their most decent song. There were alot of teeny-bopper girls there going crazy over "M5." John Mayer came on around 9:00 but we only got to see him for about an hour because we still had two hours or so to drive- plus, it would have taken an hour to get out of the place if we'd stayed til the end. There has to have been atleast ten thousand people there by the time John played. I don't have an absolute favorite musician but I never get tired of John Mayer. He played mostly stuff from his second album but he did play some great blues and a track from his up-coming album. He didn't play the songs that I prefer while we were still there but it was still great to see him live. His facial expressions were funny but that's because he gets so into the playing- playing from the heart. Some people may downgrade his music a bit but he is such a talented and versatile guitarist. We had open-air reserved seats and so he was "about an inch tall" from our seats but you could still make him our and plus the jumbo-tron was directly infront of us. Good stuff.

Ah, school starts next wednesday and I'm still in denial about it, ha. The FHS kids started today so I guess I lucked out a bit. Roll with the punches, go with the flow... Senior year- I'm not into the hype.

We've pretty much put the house up for sale. They are coming to put up the "oh-so official" for sale sign tomorrow or wednesday, joy. I'm not bummin about the whole thing though. My dad is talking to firms in the mid-atlantic region but still no "solid plans." He may fly down to talk to a firm based in Richmond, VA/D.C. next week. My mom is still pretty hung up on staying put up here until I graduate- don't know if that will work. We'll see what happens... If we sell the house we may move into an apartment up here but there are so many factors to consider and all. Wherever we move we're definitely down-scaling. Definitely not living beyond our means. I've been teased by my family for being frugal but maybe that's the Asian coming out- haha, love it. Still, live simply. "Live simply so that others may simply live. "Don't need much to be happy." Hmm, after being around so much family lately- that's a really good feeling- I don't want to take it for granted. My dad's family is small and so we've always been close. On the other hand- my mom's family is pretty big and they've never been really close but I feel like as I get older- as we all get older- we grow a bit closer.  

Ugh, what to write (type) about next... Ah, the title for the entry. This would have been my tenth running season. So much sanctuary with running. I've been going to the gym but have been quite unmotivated with running this summer. I've definitely added a bit to my mid- section as a result! 

More and more I've found myself wandering in and out of thoughts etc. while I try to sleep. On a superficial level- about the coming school year, the following year..., the move. Then about my parents being happy and my brother being happy- what shape the family situation will take "down the road." The everyday things, things that don't really matter- things you put on a list- thinking about how I'd better learn Korean and wondering when I'll hear back from the program, college? Thoughts, things like that, float around. Then whether I'm too much of a dreamer. How can I make idealistic "dreams into reality?" A lot of that seems clouded lately. I don't find myself getting to wrapped around or caught up in things so much anymore though. Sometimes just when I'm trying to fall asleep but then every part of me drifts to something else...

I've been pretty good about burying, rather just covering up, how afraid I am of pretty much everything when things are in their raw form. I then think back to how things used to be and I know I can never go back to that perspective- that type of pathetic "low." Hm, looking back (oy, me and my famous "looking back") maybe a bit of that was a part of growing up, maybe not. -It seems like most if not all of us want in some way something to call our own- I found a part of that with running and perhaps that's a part of everything. I'm starting to lose track of any direction for this entry.

Things are never really so difficult- things are so easy for so many of us. It's about not having to stop myself in the midst of all the beauty and truth that's omnipresent. Instead of what is not or should not be- what truly is and what should be. Everything is pretty jumbled so I'll end the entry here.........     & nbsp;   &n bsp; 

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Me the punk

Ahh, I've been immortalized by the Ramones, haha!

"Sheena Is A Punk Rocker"

Well the kids are all hopped up and ready to go
They're ready to go now
They've got their surfboards
And they're going to the discotheque a go go
But she just couldn't stay
She had to break away
Well New York City really has it all
Oh yeah, oh yeah

Sheena is a punk rocker
Sheena is a punk rocker
Sheena is a punk rocker now
She's a punk punk, a punk rocker
Punk punk, a punk rocker
Punk punk, a punk rocker

H2O

Earth, Air, Water, Fire?

My results from the beliefnet.com quiz by Deborah Lipp

A score of 44 on a scale from 0-100=

(21-50) Water: You're sensitive and fluid, responding to feelings more than anything else. Dreams, visions, love, and the mysterious attract you. You may be prone to depression, so try to balance your emotions with rationality.

More about the element...

The Water Person

The Water person feels first and foremost. "Thinking never solved anything—only our hearts should be our guides!" She has a great facility with feeling; she is compassionate, caring, and a great listener. Water people can be wonderful therapists. They "go with the flow," but don’t flit about like Air people. Their movements have a definite path, albeit an often unexpected one.

The Water person’s open heart makes her generous, and her empathy can make her quite social, although not all Water people are "bubbly." She is often very dreamy, and can be mystical. Among magical folk, Water people might meditate, light incense, take steamy baths, wear consecrated herb bags, and so on. Water people are often artistic as well, and are especially found among painters and musicians.

Water people often move with a sensual grace that reminds one of their element, and often have wide, open eyes, the kind that look deep and liquid. Very Watery people often dress in flowing clothes or have flowing accessories. They can have a mysterious quality that is compelling to those around them. Some Water people are dark, brooding, and perhaps even silent, an inward rather than outward Water manifestation.

Romance comes naturally to Water people; they give and receive love easily. Some share themselves effusively, and some are very secretive, withholding information while being open with emotion. Perhaps surprisingly, not all romantic Water types are particularly sexual; many find the physicality of sex to be a distraction from love’s emotional and spiritual nature.

All that feeling can lead to its share of problems. Depression and addiction are Watery illnesses, and flowing with dark, negative feelings can make some Water people irrational, or even psychotic. More likely, the Water person will simply be prone to tears, often needing to "get serious" at moments when others would prefer to be lighthearted. They can be as inconsistent as the tides, changing their minds the way Earth people change their socks. Their wonderful sensitivity can go overboard, making them perceive every offhand remark as a major emotional statement.

The Water person can choose to balance herself. Water needs to be offset by rationality, decisiveness, and groundedness. With some balance, the Water person can follow her flowing nature, and be happier for it.

-- Sounds much like my Cancer sign... However many times I find myself torn between logic and emotion... --  

Potatoes @ 6:00

That's what I have written on my hand. Put the potatoes in the oven for dinner. Anyway- here is some "poetry..."

(Written in my journal on) 11.26.02

I'm 5 40 up on you   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;  Sunny 2:50 went ahead of you   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;  Happy walk to the yellow

Sometime between        & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;  You're still around   & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;   Got thrown into it     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;  Not sure what to think   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;  Yes then no     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;  Yes but two didn't know

A cold, dark night   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;     Black high heels   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp; I didn't like the curls   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;   Mint green   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp; Your friend's vest

Shiny gold, purple, green   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;    Down N.O. B Street   & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p; Getting late   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;    An embrace

Figured things changed        & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp; My world     & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;  Let go     & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;

An oval began it again   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;    Didn't know what to do     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;  Said I'm sorry, still am     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;    You didn't mind

Summer heat   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;  Found out pine green and salty blue   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;  White with black went in three days   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;  Tape the square   & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;     Sent you but no reply.... miss you     & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;    

A recent one from 07.28.04

Wake to find   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;    She's just where   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp; She left off

Picks herself up     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;    With morning sweetness  &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;          On a day like any other

Windshield wipers   & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;   Swish once   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   And she's off

After paperbacks  &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;    A letter, cloth   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;    And dollar signs   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp; She drops enough   & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;     In his case   &nb sp;      & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         To buy His girl dinner     & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;          "Thank you, dear"   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;        And she throws a "sure"   & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;  Over her shoulder

Here comes a woman   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ; Along side   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p; Pink dress   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;    Does not   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ; Give anything away   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp; As she passes   & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;        

Later on     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;        She feels beautiful  &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;  She does not wear   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;  Her uncertainty  &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   Life seems written        & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;    On her face

Talk of money   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;    And their legacies    ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;  Amongst the three   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;        She finds something simple