random excerpts
02.26.05 (5:45 pm) [edit]Taken from other online journals:
"Just remember kids, its always good to have a dollar in your pocket, cuz you never know when you will find yourself on the top level of a parking garage with the woman you love....and to get out you just have to tail somebody and hope that yellow thingy doesnt come down on top of your car. That's all for now, maybe more later."
"But this afternoon when I went to campustown to do a review (of yet another Chinese restaurant) for the Web, I was suddenly pulled out of my stupor. Just as I shut the door of my car, I realized I had locked my car keys inside my car. What's more, I then realized that since my spare car keys were attached to my house keys and my house keys were in my backpack which was also in my car, I had also locked my only spare keys inside my car.
So I was freaking out because I had much to do and no time to waste. I had no money for the meter in my pocket (all my money was in my car) but there was a store right next to the parking lot, so I just left the meter unpaid while I went inside for five minutes to call a locksmith. Five minutes! When I came back, there was a parking ticket. (For $3, but still.) The locksmith came in only 10 minutes, opened the door in 30 seconds, and charged $32.
So yes, my Chinese restaurant review in the next issue of the Web is worth $35."
"For the record: I do not become "obsessed" with people simply because they're talented or nice to look at. I don't "fall in love" over night. I'm not an idiot. I'm not a child. And I'm most certainly not "in love".
Thankyou."
"- i am like someone who likes me back for the first time since the summer. im not one for relationships. especially one where the other is younger then me. but i like it this time. which is trange anyway because if you know me. im cynical and mean and hateful. i hate relationships. i hate seeing people in relationships. ill give this thing a try for once."
"i don't want anyone to feel like that's the case, because i love you all.
if you feel like we dont know each well enough SPEAK UP AND SAY SOMETHING TO ME. ill laugh, youll laugh, and we'll be tight. i promise, scouts honor. honestly this 'separation' foolishness is so....foolish."
"If one more person wishes for my death, shit is going to hit the fan.
thankyou."
"Of course (blank blank) has lost some of her edge as she's gotten older and more settled - not everyone can avoid becoming a suburban mom."
"So, where do we go from here? I think a big part of "scary love" is the realization that, we're at the end of high school. High school is like, the end of the beginning of life. The future is upon us, and it's full of uncertainties. For thirteen years or so our life has been completely free of doubt: elementary school, middle school, high school......now what? College? Career? Family? Retirement? Death? Who knows how its gonna go down, nobody is planning it for us except God, and He likes to keep these kinds of things a suprise. Yeesh. Thinkin about it makes me wanna plan it all out on paper, but that's the scary thing, so much happens suddenly that you just can't plan it out into full detail. Like a detour on a road you've never been on. How did you know it would be there? I sure as heck didnt. Who knew my Dad would have a stroke and be stolen from me when i was sixteen and not ready to be fatherless? Who knows if I am gonna have one after only twenty five years of marriage? What if when we're married my wife said she doesn't care about that? Well I DO! I DON'T WANT TO BE MY FATHER, AND IM NOT TALKING ABOUT- OH I DONT WANT TO BE THE BUM ON THE COUCH. HE WASNT A BUM, HIS MIND IS GONE. ROY S---- IS DEAD AND SANDY S---- HAS BEEN FALLING APART EVER SINCE. That is who i dont want to be. She said she doesn't care, but what about if it really happens? I get destroyed, and she is alone forever, cuz im not dead, just missing. Wow, this therapy session took a turn for the worse. Guess im more afraid of love then i thought."
"My generation is the 'F--- the vacation, give me the cash equivalent' generation."
--add more later...
another one for you
02.26.05 (5:35 pm) [edit]Disarm you with a smile
Cut you like you want me too
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my choice
What's a boy supposed to do
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love - I send a smile over to you
Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
What's a boy supposed to do
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love - I send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
name my fetus...
02.18.05 (4:35 pm) [edit]It's been a little under a month since my last real entry. Seems like there is a lot I want to write. First let's take care of the official business: Would you like to name my fetus?? Feel free but please nothing too obscene.
All in all things haven't been "bad" as this year starts. Things have been shaky though. January kind of sucked but this month I guess things are on "the up swing." Contact with "old friends" has been pretty much gone by the way side. The whole thing with me and an old close friend was a bit disheartening but it's a two way street and so I've given up on that for now. I have to write to that friend that I wrote about recently- the one who pulled a 360. I only really talk to Sam and it's weird because our friendship wasn't really like that of those other two but it's developed in it's nice own way. We don't really talk about things in such a deep way as the others but it is a nice surprise that our friendship has grown. She has gone through quite a bit over the past year or so with her mom being "diagnosed" with MS.
We all have so much to learn.
Then there's that one person that I just can't knock, ugh. We just talked two days ago- for the first time at this house. That relationship is really weird- sometimes it's more difficult to gadge the subtleties with the distance. There is a lot of room to go either way. I sincerely hope that this friend and I can be friends forever. This person seems to make me reconsider what I want to do with my life and who I am. There is so much that I don't know about this person and vice versa to an extent. There's so much ground to cover. It's like I still have to interpret where this person is at and what or how to approach things. I would give my life for this person and I undoubtably see a future with this person- a long future. In one form or another. & nbsp;
Mid-winter break began today as of 1:45 and so we're off for a week. We're going to Quebec- to freeze. We are officially out of our Scarboro house and we've been here in the rental for about two weeks. We're used to it and I like it. The drive to school etc. is at least 15 mins. but I get to see the ocean for about 3/10 of a mile every morning. Three people at work quit including the guy that trained me. I am still looking for a job closer to here but until I nail something down I'm still at the coffee shop. I was off tonight and my cousin and his girlfriend are coming over tonight from New Hampshire. He teaches environmental science at Franklin Pierce. He said he caught a student that plagarized and so I want to see what happened with that.
I've pretty much given up on school nowadays. Third quarter of senior year. I am officially in the IIHR program in Korea. I'm trying to keep a level head in terms of not freaking out about what will be. It had just been getting to me or I let it get to me. Sometimes it just drives me so fucking crazy- I have no idea how I can really, really make a difference- how to go about doing it. I've been considering a lot of fields to go into: occupational therapy, teaching ESL, sociological psychology, speech therapy, saving the world. Majors for those seem to be pretty limited in PA and MD. My dad has officially accepted the offer from a firm in Annapolis, MD and so we're moving to back to good old MD in mid-June right after graduation.
I don't really regret things to this point. Even with all those stupid things that happened I look back with a lot more of a clear mind. Things just don't matter like that. I'm actually really glad that I didn't make bad decisions because shit there is so much that could have gone the other way. Sometimes it makes me sick to think of the fact that I didn't/haven't put my parents through the shit that I could have. Sometimes I think that they are so lucky that I never put myself in those positions. I owe so much to them but sometimes that gets to me. They have no idea- how things might have been. Still, I would have had to have been a totally different person and I am go glad that I am not. I pick what matters to me. I have so much to learn.
--- I was working with Paula the other night and there are some pretty freaky stories that I'll have to tell you when it's light out...
~ I have been/am blessed with so much. I often wonder why I haven't been hit with dire circumstances like so many other people. Is it a matter of only being given what you can handle? One can never know... & nbsp; &n bsp;
What's with all the LJs?
02.12.05 (2:53 pm) [edit]What's with everyone going over to and joining LJ all the sudden?
Everybody: stay on tblog!
I remember...
02.08.05 (10:28 am) [edit]
Do you
Brother
Do you remember?
Were you there?
Her sarcastic thanks
Was it the life she hoped for
His strength
What he left behind
Do you remember
The stormy night
I was so young
You never had to
Cover your ears
The deafening silence
Were you there?
When she saw that
More was missing
Than her bags
Do you ever wonder
Brother of mine
Were you ever
A whitewash of yourself?
Brother
Where do we start?
Do you remember
Brother of mine?